Joc joc joke

Bakit ang payat at ang puti ng buhok ni Jocjoc?

Kulang kasi sa fertilizer.....

Lapida ng mga Sikat

NINOY: The Filipino is worth dying for.

MOTHER TERESA: Let's serve the poorest until the very end.

FPJ: Da King of Pinoy movies and the masa

JFK: Ask what you can do for your country, not what your country can do for you.

GMA: Here LIES Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (Bagay na bagay)

Undas

Did you know that UNDAS means lungkit no?

kasi pag binaligtad mo yon....

SADNU

Financial crisis

Reporter: Kung magsasara po ang mga banko dahil sa financial crisis ano po maipapayo nyo?

Gonzales: Ay sus, no problem yan, eh di mag_ATM na lang tayo di ba?

(Hay, go jump in the lake...)

Surgery

Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:

> San yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang ito?

> 10 ml? May nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!

>Doc, ubos na po ang anesthesia.

> Kanina pa bukas yung tiyan nyan. Asan yung pantahi.

>Sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat.

SARI-SARING TAWA

Holdaper: Akin na pera mo!

Biktima: Di mo ba ako kilala? Congressman ako!

Holdaper: Ganun ba? O sige, akin na pera namin!

--------------------------------------------------------

Kung gagawa ka ng isang bagay na di pa naiimbento, ano yun?

"Ako? Gagawa ako ng REDHORSE CAPSULE 500mg! Isang tableta lang, sapul agad! Ito ang tama! "

--------------------------------------------------------
Son: Tay, penge ng benchingko.

Tatay: Anak, ayuson mo, vente y singko.

Son: Vente y singko.

Tatay: Hay, sige, kunin mo don sa CORNFURST ko.
--------------------------------------------------------
Si Pedro nakapulot ng magic lamp....

Genie: Hohoho! Bibigyan kia ng 3 kahilingan.

Pedro: 1. Gusto kong tumira sa malaking bahay.
2. Gusto kong pumuti ang complexion ko.
3. Gusto ko lahat ng babaeng makakita sa akin ay maghuhubad ng panty at papatong sa akin.

smoke, smoke, smoke...... si Pedro ay naging

--------------------------------------------------------

Woman carrying sick baby to the doctor.

Doc: Is he breastfed or bottlefed?

Woman: Breastfed po, Doc.

Doc squeezes woman's breast)

Doc: That's why he's sick,, you don't have milk.

Woman: Yaya ako , Doc. YAYA!
--------------------------------------------------------
Fluent ka ba sa English?

Read the following aloud:
Wolf
Woof
Warp
Roof
Ruff
Raft
Work
Wart
Worth
Wharf

Test result: Good dog! O stop barking na...!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Learn Japanese: a drink before you go- TOMA KAMUNA

Have a drink before you go- TOMAKAMUNA

That was my assumption- INAKARAKO

Let's go quicky.- BATCHI NA TAYO

We will boycott the elcton- KAMI NOBOTO.

I give up- SUKONAKO.

What a sad life it is.- HAINAKU.

I am going to leave you.- SAWANAKO.

I lab u2

A girl was in love with an ugly man. Her friend asked her. "Why him?"

Then the girl replied immediately, "Haler?! Di ka ba nanood ng Beauty and the Beast? poging-pogi din sya!"

The guy heard this and he said, "Tnagek! napanood mo ba yung Sherk? Papangit ka rin noh."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the definition of "Burning Love"?

It is when you reach out for the KY Jelly and ppick up Bengay by mistake!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PEDRO: Niloko yung tindera kanina.

JUAN: Paano?

PEDRO: Nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong cellphone....

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TEACHER: Ano ang pinakamalakas na bagyo?

PEDRO: Tukso po.

TEACHER: Bakit Tukso?

PEDRO: Kasi kayraming winasak na tahanan.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Handsome hunk strips in front of a nun to tempt her. D nun closed er eyes and prayed....

"Bless me oh Lord and this thy gift, which i am about to recieve....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

GF: (Texting) Ayoko na sa iyo! Leche ka! Break na tayo!

BF: (Reply) Ha? Bakit? Ano ba problema? Ano ba kasalanan ko?

GF: Ay sorry Honey. Wrong send! Love you.

BF: Akala ko kung ano na... Love you 2.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hindi naman ako tubig.... pero bakit ang daming uhaw sa akin??????

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife dreaming in the middle og the night suddenly shouts, "Quick my husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, "Damn, I'm the husband."

Who's guilty?
---------------------------------------------------------------
May nakapagsabi na ba sa yong ang cute mo?

Kung wala pa....

Wala tayong magagawa.....

---------------------------------------------------------------
When a judge makes love to a woman, it's called HONORABLE DISCHARGE.
and
When a legislator does it, it's called CONGRESSIONAL INSERTION.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sa party nilapitan ng isang gwapong lalaki ang isang babae.

Man: Miss, sasayaw ka ba?

Tuwang-tuwa ang babae na tumayo.

Miss: Yes!

Man: Buti naman, paupo ha!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sweethearts watching the sky....

Girl: Hon, ano ang horoscope mo?

Boy: Anong horoscope?

Girl: parang kapalaran ba, gaya sa akin, cancer.

Boy: Ah, sa akin almoranas.

Mga reklamo jokes

Binabati ko ang lahat ng nagmamahalan ngayon:


bigas

tinapay, karne,

gulay, gas, pamasahe

kuryente

processed meat at

tuition fees.

--------------------------------------------------------------



Bagong motto ni GMA: Survivor ako!

-----------------------------------------------------------
ISANG LINGGONG SULAT ~

Dir Tatay,

Sumusulat ako ngayong LUNES, para maihulog kong MARTES, matanggap nyo ng MIYERKOLES, mabasa ng HUWEBES, sagutin nyo ng NIEYERNES, maihulog nyo ng SABADO para magamit ko ang pera ng LINGGO...

Sagot ng Ama~

Dir Anak,

Yung sulat mo nung LUNES na naihulog mo ng MARTES ay natanggap ko ng MIYERKOLES, binasa ko ng HUWEBES, sinagot ko naman ng BIYERNES at naihulog ko ng SABADO para malaman mo ng LINGGO na wala akong pera!!!! mag tiis ka!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SERMON NG PARI:
Ang kayamanan at pera, maiiwan natin kapag tayo ay namatay. Walang may Pera sa langit!

BATA:
Narining nyo yung, Nay? Nasa langit na pala tayo?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
WIFE: Ninakawan tayo ng katulong ng towel nung umalis sya.
HUSBAND: Mga tao ngayon wala ng values. Anong towel ang kinuha nya?
WIFE: Yung sa Manila Hotel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WIFE: How much do you love me?
HUSBAND: As much as Shah Jahan loved Mumtaz Mahal.
WIFE: So you would build a Taj Mahal for me if I die?
HUSBAND: I've already purchased the land, the delay is on your side.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONFESSION~

LADY: Bless me father for I have sinned. I had sex several times with the priest in the other parish.
PARI: That is really very bad because your parish is here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kung nakukulitan ka sa mga saleslady na nagtatanong ng, "Ano po hinahanap nila?"

Sumagot ka.
Sabihin mo,
"Pagmamahal at pag-unawa."

Dialogues from Tonyo

*** Tonyo, puno na inbox ko......
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BATA: Takot ako bunot ipin.
DOC: Wag ka matakot, bigyan kita ng gamot pampatapang!
(Bata ininom ang gamot)

DOC: Tapang ka na?
BATA: Sige! Hayup ka! Galawin mo ipin ko, sabog nguso mo!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sa paradise of Eden....

EVE: Adam, do you really love me?

ADAM: Bakit meron pa bang iba?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

TOOTHBRUSH: I have the worst job on earth!

TISSUE: Tse! Wala kang alam!

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MRS: Bakit dinala mo sa bahay ang trabaho mo?

MR: Saoory, rush to kaya dito ko na sa bahay tatapusin.

MRS: Bwisit! Ikaw lang ang EMBALSAMADOR na nag uuwi ng trabaho sa bahay.

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HELPER: Padre, nagtext ang amo ko na nasa abroad, pamimisahan daw itong namatay nilang aso.

PARI : Tao lang ang pinapamisahan. Hindi kasali ang aso. Nababaliw na ba sila?

HELPER: Eh, ano gagawin ko dito sa $10,000 na pinadala para sa pamisa?

PARI: aw, di mo naman agad sinabi na Katoliko pala yung aso!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mga banat....

Noong isang gabi, sa ilalim ng kabilugan ng buwan, narinig ang palihim na bulungan ng magkasintahang si "GAS" at si "PAMASAHE"

PAMASAHE: Dahil sa yo, natuto akong magmahal....

GAS: At dahil sa yo, di na ako magmumura kailan man.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marunong ka ba mag-budget?

Turuan mo naman ako..... Napapamahal na kasi ako sa yo.....

------------------------------------------------------------------------

EYE EXpressions:

0_0 Awake

-_- Sleepy

?_? Flirty

@_@ Dizzy

$_$ GMA's eyes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

" I called PLDT to report that our myDSL connection is not working. Sabi sa akin ng customer service, may problem daw sa area namin.... When i asked her to specify, sabi nya NATIONWIDE ang problem!

Winner! Baka mamaya INTERNATIONAL ang problem. "

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dahil kay GMA ang pera ng tao ngayon ay parang naging coke....

kundi SAKTO.....












ZERO.....

"Chavit Singson? The Jueteng Lord?
He is now the deputy national security adviser?

I pity this country. I'll go on leave tomorrow to apply for a Schengen visa so I could just stay in Switzerland."

~Inday talking to her amo upon hearing news of GMA's Latest appointment. ~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COMEDIAN QUIP:
"Gay people invented sports. Think about it....
Boxing: two topless men, in silk shorts... fighting over a belt."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Juan: Pare, ano baon mo ngayon?
Jose: FILLET ALA EL NINO.
Juan: Wow! Ang sarap! Ano yun?

Jose: TUYO.
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"I may not look hot enough for you. But I dare you... Lend me your skin to feel my hotness from within."
~KALDERo. Isang malandi at kerengken na kaldero.~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sa simbahan may, may batang nagdarasal himihingi ng bike kay God.

BATA: Lord, bigyan mo ako ng bike!

Kinabukasan wala syang natanggap na bike kaya hingi sya ulit.

BATA: Lord, bigyan nyo ako ng bike hah!

Pero wala pa ding natatanggap. Kinabukasan napansin ng pari na wala na ang rebulto ni Mama Mary. Nakita na lang nya ay isang liham.

"Lord, kung gusto nyo pa makita ang nanay mo, ibigay mo sa akin ang bike."

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More Jokes from Tonyo

Apo: Look at those boats, Lolo!

Lolo: Amazing , di ba, Iho? They are called yacths.

Apo: Yacths? How do you spell it, Lolo?

Lolo: You're right, Iho. They are boats.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Modern thinkers now believe that Adam and Eve were Filipinos.

Why?

Because thet had no house, no jobs, nothing decent to wear, no rice and yet still they multiplied!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tatay: Anak, bakla ka ba?

Anak: Opo.

(Sabay lubog sa mukha ng anak sa harina)

Tatay: Ano? Ngayon, lalaki ka na ba?

Anak: Geisha na po.

(Nagalit ang tatay sabay nilubog ang mukha sa baldeng puno ng tubig.)

Tatay: Ngayon, ano ka na? Sagot!

Anak: Dyesabel na po!

(Nagalit lalo ang tatay, kaya pinaso nya ito ng plantsa sa hanggang ito'y mangitim)

Tatay: *$&@)(Q@ ka! Ano ka na ngayon ?

Anak: Ako na po si Beyonce.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to pulse Asia, Pinoys are generally satisfied with GMA's programs.

When asked what program they enjoyed most, the respondents said: Dyesabel.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dating Daan- Ely Soriano...

Tamang Daan- Inglesia ni Kristo...

Dalawang Daan- Chairman Abalos...

Di ko Matandaan- Romy Neri.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the US, they have Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, Stevie wonder, Condoleeza Rice.

Sa Pinas, we have no bills, no cash, no hope, no wonder... and No rice!

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Boyfriend: Last night on our anniversary, my girlfriend demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a gas station!

Nagalit sya. Mali ba yung ginagawa ko? O dapat sa bigasan ko na lang sya dinala?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Si "Gas" at "Pamasahe" nag-uusap...

Pamasahe: Dahil sa yo... natuto akong magmahal.

Napapanahong loveteam....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mga Kongresista pina-iimbistigahan ang PAGASA.

Gusto raw ng mga politiko na makihati sa .... LAGAY ng panahon.

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Angel: GMA, inutusan ako ilord para ipaalam sayo na hanggang bukas na lang ang buhay mo.

GMA: Eto ang pera, sabihin mo kay lord, hindi tayo nagkita ha, ok?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dad: Gabi na! bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi?

Anak: Not now, I'm tired... daming projects, daming event sa school, nag-meeting pa kami with the dean....

Dad: Magtigil ka! Kinder ka pa lang!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Husband: Do you have any idea what would happen to you if I die?

Wife: I might also die.

Husband (blushes): Why?

Wife: Sometimes, too much hapiness can cause death.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One orgasm releases 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 sperm cells yet only 1 meet up with the ovum.

Yan, yan and SYSTEMS LOST!

Yan ang dapat ginamit ni Judai na example

Tree planting activity

jfsfisljf kwf

Gaia's Wish

Dear Family & Friends,

We are so blessed that there are people who continueto support us in so many different ways. Just wanted to share with you a poem written by one of the parent of Giorde's student. I miss my little Gaia so much that there are times I feel the hurt physically. That's the nearestdescription that I could come up to express the pain. But when I get such uplifting messages such as thewords below..it gives me joy knowing that somebodycares enough to spend time and write down such lovely thoughts.

Ybeth

GAIA’S WISH

Please don’t cry for me

I’m in a far better place,

Resting in heaven

In my Father’s embrace.

It’s beautiful here

No sorrow, no tears,

I’m walking with God

There’s no need for fears.

My life on earth was short indeed,

But remember me with peace

In the lives you now lead.

I know you will miss me

And your hearts may ache,

But ties are not broken

And memories don’t break.

Ponder the good times

And what my life meant to you,

You made a difference, you fought for me!
There was nothing more to do.

Please know that I am free

Free to be the girl I was created to be!

I am not far away

For life goes on,God’s word is true

And I’ve moved on.

Thank you for the love you gave

For every lovely thing,

Now give it again to others

It will truly make me sing!

New line

A new batch has recently been printed!

We are relentless in selling. Why? Because we have advocacies that go with the shirts- TRUTH and GAIA!

We now have the new fashionista line (AKA sexy line). The cut have gone sexy and modern but still have the same fervor- TELL THE TRUTH, THOU SHALL NOT ZTEAL, NO TO GREED. Oh, we did shout DARNA!

Darna shirts are also available.

Order now.

Don't get caught in the next Truth gathering without a BAYANI Shirt!
STATEMENT INI!

World Trade News

Isang panibagong producktona gawa ng Pinoy!

SUPER PANDIKIT
super dikit,
super kapit
di mo maalis
di mo matanggal...

ATE GLU

Usapang Lalaki

How do you compare Erap and Mike Arroyo?

*Both are billionaires
*Both Ateneans.
*Both fat.
*Both alias Jose.
*Both are liars
*Pero si Erap mas may taste sa babae.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Who ever said GMA is a LADY President when in fact she is really a MAN!

A true-blooded:

• MAN loloko
• MAN daraya
• MAN darambong
• MAN durugas
• MAN lilintang

Watta a man!

Presidential Quiz,

~Subukan sumagot, ang perfect score ay tatanggap ng special trip to Hong Kong,
courtesy of ZTE. Click lang sa comments~


1) Sa litratong ito, si Gloria ay

a) Contestant sa Bb. Pilipinas
b) Contestant sa Little Miss Philippines
c) Contestant sa Miss Gay Pampanga





2) "Eh di wala na!", ito ang sagot ni Gloria sa tanong na

a) "Nasan na po ang pera ng bayan?"
b) "May pagtatalik pa bang nagaganap sa inyo ni Mike?"
c) "May pag-asa pa po ba kayong tumangkad?"




3) Ang sigaw ni Gloria ay

a) "Rexona!"
b) "Darna!"
c) "Hiwalay na kami ni Mike! Yessss!"






4) Galit si Gloria dahil…

a) mababa ang popularity rating nya
b) kamukha nya si Candy Pangilinan sa litratong ito
c) hindi sya g ali t, ina-arte lang nya ang "walaaaang himalaaaa!"





5) Sagot ni Gloria ay ganito nang tanungin sya ng

a) "Ok ka lang ate?"
b) "Pano kayo nanalo sa election?"
c) "Gaano kataba yung kay Mike?"







6) Sa litratong ito, si Gloria ay

a) nasa prayer meeting
b) nasa Wowowee
c) gustong sumagot sa tanong ng guro

~ Send in your answers~

Ang Nunal

Ang nunal.

Masdan ang nunal niyang

Malaki?t maitim.

Ano kaya ang tinatago

Nitong lihim?

Shhhhhhhhhh!

Ang nunal.

Ang sabi ng iba,

Ang nunal daw, ay tanda ng ganda.

Ang sabi ko naman,

Aba, kumporme sa bida.

May babaeng gaya-gaya,

Kamukha daw ng artista,

Nang tumakbo sa halalan,

Nunal ay ipinangalandakan.

Ang nunal!

Ang sabi ng Medical Encyclopedia,

Maaring mag-iba

Ang hitsura ng nunal.

Maaring magpalit ng hugis,

Lumaki, anong kahindikhindik,

Lumolobo sa kanyang kananakaw,

Sa kanyang kauumit!

Nunal na nagbabago ng kulay,

Nagmimistulang may buhay!

Itong nunal kaya?y nangingitim

Sa dami ng pinaslang,

Ng budhi niyang anong dilim?

Mga kababayan! Masdan ang nunal!

Hindi ito palaisipan,

Wala nang maililihim

Ang nunal na sakim.

Sa nunal na ito, anong dapat gawin,

Kung pagsisimulan ng kanser na kumakalat,

Kanser na pumapatay, kanser na pahirap?

Tanggalin natin ang nunal!

Sunugin kung kinakailangan!

Sa nunal na kanser ang siyang katulad,

Bayan natin ay iligtas!

Ito ang tawag, ang hamon sa ating lahat!
~joi barrios~

TIMELY POEMS

Noon ay bulag na pinya
Ang burukratang si Lozada
At nang imulat ang mata
Pati madla'y nakakita

Ang magsabi ni totoo
Ay kalaban ng demonyo;
Ang sinungalling na tao
Ay may gloria sa impierno

Huwag magtatago sa saya
Neri, magpakatotoo ka.
Kakampi ka ba ni Lozada
O magsusuot ng prada

Heavenly, Creamy

Magnolia will introduce new GMA ice cream flavors:
IMPEACH-Mint
SUBPOENA- Colada.

They will change Halo-halo to HELO-HELO Garci and
Buko-lychee to Buko-Kana LECHE!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tanong: Ano ang kaibahan ng piso at ni Gloria?
Sagot: Ang piso ayaw tumaas at si Gloria, ayaw bumaba.

Tanong: Eh, ano naman ang kaibahan ng simbahan at Malacanang?
Sagot: Sa simbahan, ipinagbubunyi mo ang Diyos para makarating sa gloria. Sa Malacanang, dadaan ka muna kay Bunye para makarating kay Gloria.

kapal joke

bobby: anong tawag mo sa taong hindi nahihiya?
che: e di MAKAPAL
bobby: anong tawag pag mas makapal
precious: e di GARAPAL
bobby: e sa mas garapal
che: e di MACAPAGAL

bobby, che, allen, precious, debbie all laugh

Special Tours

You are invited to the grand opening of Gaite Lending Inc.
0 % on all awa loans.
Limited documentation and we deliver the money to right where you are.
We also do package tours to HKG and London on short notice through Atienza Travel and Tours.
Airport Tarmac pick up available upon request
-------------------------------------------------------------------HK travel advisory.

Fly cathy Pacific and arrive in Manila on time at the departure area.
tourists can skip immigration procedures and luggages handcarried by airport security.
tourists will be given a 4 hour free tour to cavite and Laguna via C5 and SLEX.
Starbucks coffee will be served during the tour. Dinner at Outback to be paid by a lawyer.

Welcome to the Philippines.
This is a promo of Arroyo Treasure Travels.

Height and Hayop Jokes

FM's downfall was due to KBL. (Kasalanan ng Babaeng taga-Leyte)

GMA's downfall may be due to KAMPI

*Kasalanan ng
Asawang
Minalas sa
Probinsyanong
Intsik
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KANO: We went thtu a grave crisis due to ther 9/11. How are you?

PINOY: We are still experiencing the worst crisis due to our 4'11" who is still with us!

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COW Story

USA has COWboy
England has mad COW
China has maCOW
Russia has MosCOW

the Philippines has.... MagnanaCOW at MatataCow
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcos fled on a chopper
Erap left on a boat.

Watch out for GMA leaving Malacanang in a stroller.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is now the proper way of introducing Mikey:
"Rep. Mikey Arroyo- the son of a bitch."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nagsalita na si Neri about GMA.
Di raw nya sinabi na, "She's evil...."

Sabi araw nya: "Gloria wears Prada."

Taga-UPLB ka kung...

1. Kilala mo si Mang Pogs.
2. Nalilito ka kung saan nakalagay ang banga ni Mariang Banga.
3. Tubig na lang ang tingin mo sa gin.
4. Ginamit mong reviewer ang mga old exams para sa mga midterms, prefi at finals sa math, stat, chem, physics, eco etc.
5. Hindi ka sumasagot ng UP (yupeee) kapag tinanong ka kung saan ka graduate.hahaha! sagot mo elbi.
6. Taga-elbi ka kapag kilala mo yung professor na nagbi-bike ng naka-barong na kupas. (Si climax! kalahating albert einstein, kalhating mang pandoy)
7. Ok lang pumasok sa mga klase kahit naka pambahay/ pantulog attire ka.
8. Pag nagtanong si manong driver ng "may animal ba dyan?", at may sumagot ng "meron po" ay di ka natawa.
9. Pag nagtanong uli si manong driver ng "may mens ba dyan?", at may sumagot uli ng "meron po" ay di ka natawa.
10. Di ka nahihiyang magbitbit ng malaking payong.
11. Taga-elbi ka kung pagkatapos mong magbakasakali kay Mang Pogs, diretso ka na kay Mr. Midnight .
12. Bumibili ka ng blue book sa Coop.
13. Alam mong hindi pwedeng ibato ang Batong Malaki.
14. Nung pinanood mo ang movie ni aga at regine na shot at elbi (sa may gaygay gowns) at nagtawag ng taxi si regine e nagtawanan kayo ng mga taga-LB at clueless ang iba.
15. Alam mo kung nasaan ang White House.
16. May tanline ka ng tsinelas.
17. Alam mong mas masarap ang pancit canton na niluto sa 'heater cup'
18. Sanay ka maglakad.
19. Thursday night ang gimik night mo.
20. Alam mo na ang pinakamalaking banyo ay ang Ellen's Fried Chicken, at Sizzler's ang tinitingalang kainan.
21. Kilala mo sina Saniano Boy at Girl.
22. Alam mo kung nasaan ang "Johnson".
23. Alam mo ang kaibahan ng dalawang Flatrocks.
24. Kaya mong pumasok ng hindi naliligo.
25. Alam mong si Carasus at Pegabao ay iisa.
26. Alam mong ok lang na pumunta sa Maahas.
27. Tumatambay ka sa APEC para mag inom.
28. Alam mo kung nasaan ang Fertility Tree, Kwek Kwek Tower, at ang Templo ni Bruce Lee.
29. Tuloy ang klase kahit signal number 3 na.
30. Alam mo kung saan ang pilahan ng jeep papuntang IRRI, Forestry, o kaya ay Jamboree...
31. Hindi ka kumakain ng buko pie.
32. Alam mo na bago pa man nauso ang unli rice sa Tokyo Tokyo, marketing strategy na ito ng Salad Country.
33. Hinahanap-hanap mo ang chocolate cake sa Mer-Nel's.
34. Alam mong bawal tumawid sa UPLB Gate(main), muLa Guard House papuntang harap ng Carabao Park...
35. Alam mong may oras lang na pwede kumain sa IRRI pag di ka IRRI employee.
36. Sanay ka maglagay ng Knorr Seasoning sa kanin.
37. Alam mong ang hanging bridge ay di talaga naka hang..
38. Alam mong hindi lang dalawang pulgada ang layo ng Bayog sa Anos.
39. Kapag nate-take mo na di magpalit ng pants hanggang ilang araw.. hehe..
40. Alam mo kung nasaan ang tatlong Ellen's fried chicken sa LB.
41. Apektado ka sa pagsasara ng ic's
42. Pag may sakit ka, hindi ka pupunta "infirmary" except lang pag kukuha ka ng excuse slip.
43. Marami kang alam na ghost stories, sa ilag's, sa men's dorm, sa faculty village, sa may social garden etc...
44. Pag umihi ka na sa gilid ng SU (tuwing feb fair).
45. Alam mo na ang tunog ng pillbox. (rambol!)
46. Taga lb ka kapag kilala mo si "manang slow"..
47. Hindi mo na naabutan ang Vega mall at Robinson's.
48. Taga elbi ka kapag mas gusto mong tumambay pag feb fair kesa manood ng kung anuman sa stage.
49. Kaya mong i-identify ang specie at subspecie ng bawat punong nadadaanan mo.
50. Alam mo na ang shortest way sa papuntang st. therese from Hum ay ang dirt road...
51. Taga-elbi ka kapag alam mo kumbaket maraming natatalisod sa raymundo gate.
52. Hindi mo kailangan ng rason para uminom ... hindi mo na rin keilangan ng mesa pag iinom (... hindi mo na rin minsan kailangan ng baso ).
53. Alam mo kung nasaan ang Soils.
54. Mas trip mo mag-redhorse kesa mag San Mig Light.
55. Kung di man natuloy ay binalak mong umakyat ng peak two.
56. Taga elbi ka pag nakakita ka ng snow pag summer (yun yung bulak na nagkalat sa campus... kapok).
57. Taga-elbi ka rin pag handa mong gawin ang lahat pag nag-peprerog ka makakuha ka lng ng slot sa subject na yon (lalo na pag GE).
58. Alam mo kung saan makakabili ng masarap na proven at chicken skin--> dun malapit sa white house.
59. Alam mong ang devcom ay dating under ng ca.
60. Mas enjoy mo ang gimik sa apartment compared to bars and restos.
61. Alam mong ang "audi" at DL Umali Hall ay iisa.
62. Alam mong may gasolinahan sa loob ng campus (sa likod ng CEAT)
63. Sineryoso mo na kailangan may kasama kang date pag drill night.
64. Alam mo kung nasaan ang Ilag's, Raymundo's at Catalan.
65. Dismissed ka na pero sa elbi ka pa rin nakatira.
66. Alam mo kung nasaan ang Batcave.
67. Gusto mong pasabugin ang PhySci building.
68. Alam mong ang LB Square ay dating vacant lot na puro talahib.
69. Nakapanood ka na ng sine sa Agrix.
70. Taga elbi ka pag naranasan mo ang mag rali, mag martsa, mag boykot , mag noise barrage at ipa bang porma ng sama-sama pagkilos.
71. Alam mo nasa Agronomy Bldg din ang Soil Science Dept. at Horticulture Dept. kasama ngAgronomy Dept.
72. Alam mo mas malinis ang toilets sa Bio Sci kaysa sa Phy Sci Bldg
73. Alam mo na me St. Therese Dorm malapit sa Chapel
74. Alam mo kung san ang open Chapel sa Taas papunta sa National Arts Center.

Protest Tshirts with an OOmph

Dear Colleagues;


MORE LINES OF PROTEST T-SHIRTS TO BE PRODUCED DUE TO INSISTENT PUBLIC DEMAND!!!!

My friends and I are producing MORE shirts in support of the current mass call for anti-corruption, good governance and accountability. Proceeds go to the Gaia Pasamba fund: www.gaiabianca.com.

This time, tshirt prints include:

1. Moderate Your Greed
2. No to Greed
3. Thou Shall Not ZTEal
4. Tell the Truth
(At some point we also did Kawatan!!! and abZTE-FGhijklNBN-OP, but these were the least selling so na drop na ang mga ito, but we still have the silkscreen if you are interested).

Shirts are available in S, M, L and XL sizes, and Kids size (equivalent to adult XS) . Colors include: black, white, green, and blue. Price is P200 per shirt for all sizes.

I'll be accepting orders for our next production cycle until Friday, March 7. Pick up is on Monday, March 10 at the earliest, and onwards. For orders, text me at 09178003153. Mahirap lang magdeliver kung paisa-isa ang orders, but if you have orders for 10 shirts or more and if you are in QC, I'll try very hard to deliver. If less than 10, I'll ask you to pick it up from McDonald's in Philcoa, QC (I live in UP Bliss, so if you are in the area, text me and I'll take you to my house so you could see the tshirts and makapili kayo ng gusto niyo, from MOnday onwards). We will also be selling at major events and interfaith gatherings.

For more pictures please see the slide show or http://picasaweb.google.com/Bayani.Shirts/BayaniShirts02

We will also be producing a new line of "sexy" protest shirts for the petite yuppie girls in Makati and elsewhere. Same messages, but tshirts are body hugging with V necks. Pictures will be posted soon. (We might actually make one saying "One Lucky Bitch"... we'll see how the public pulse goes...)

Greed Jokes

A frog went inside Malacanang Palace. It deeply disturbed GMA because when the frog croaked, it said....

"KORAP, KORAP, KORAP!!!"

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Thief broke in Malacanang and stumbled into GMA and FG at the hallway. First couple frozein silence. Thief panicked, ran away and screamed, "MAGNANAKAW, MAGNANAKAW!"

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Dating Daan- Eli Soriano
Tamang Daan- Inklesia ni Kristo
Dalawang Daan- Chairman Abalos

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Pangaral ng Tatay sa kanyang Anak

" Ang batang swapang at sinungaling ay di tatangkad... uusli ang ngipin at mananatiling unano"
-Diosdado Macapagal-

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ABALOS' PRAYER

ZTE father, who are in China, hakot by thy name. Thy kickback come, they wealth be done, in Wack-wack as it is in Comelec. Give me this day my daily bribe and conceal all my sins, as I conceal those who sin along with me, and if i am led into temptation, deliver me from criticism, its power, and its money, forever and ever. Amen.

FG Jokes

FG met Kasparov in HK.

FG : If the situation in the the Philippines is like chess, what will you do?
Kasparov: Sacrifice QUEEN, ride HORSE, leave CASTLE, obey BISHOP and RESIGN! -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Palaces sources said a production unit directed, again, by Lupita Kashiwahara taped a special segment with FG n 2 Chinese ZTE Execs to be shown in all TV channels. Script has FG tearfully handling over envelops (with money) to the chinese and saying: "I AM SOLI."

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Genie: Dahil pinalaya mo ko, may 3 wishes ka!

Juan: Gawin mo ko RICH, pero DI BAYAD NG TAX, POWERFUL pero d WORK, NOTORIUS, pero WALANG SABIT.

Genie: Mula ngayon ikaw na s MIKE ARROYO!

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Terrorists have kidnapped FG and demanded a ransom of P10 billion or else they will burn him with kerosene.
PLEASE DONATE!

**We have donated 50 liters!