I lab u2

A girl was in love with an ugly man. Her friend asked her. "Why him?"

Then the girl replied immediately, "Haler?! Di ka ba nanood ng Beauty and the Beast? poging-pogi din sya!"

The guy heard this and he said, "Tnagek! napanood mo ba yung Sherk? Papangit ka rin noh."

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What is the definition of "Burning Love"?

It is when you reach out for the KY Jelly and ppick up Bengay by mistake!

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PEDRO: Niloko yung tindera kanina.

JUAN: Paano?

PEDRO: Nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong cellphone....

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TEACHER: Ano ang pinakamalakas na bagyo?

PEDRO: Tukso po.

TEACHER: Bakit Tukso?

PEDRO: Kasi kayraming winasak na tahanan.

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A Handsome hunk strips in front of a nun to tempt her. D nun closed er eyes and prayed....

"Bless me oh Lord and this thy gift, which i am about to recieve....

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GF: (Texting) Ayoko na sa iyo! Leche ka! Break na tayo!

BF: (Reply) Ha? Bakit? Ano ba problema? Ano ba kasalanan ko?

GF: Ay sorry Honey. Wrong send! Love you.

BF: Akala ko kung ano na... Love you 2.

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Hindi naman ako tubig.... pero bakit ang daming uhaw sa akin??????

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Wife dreaming in the middle og the night suddenly shouts, "Quick my husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, "Damn, I'm the husband."

Who's guilty?
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May nakapagsabi na ba sa yong ang cute mo?

Kung wala pa....

Wala tayong magagawa.....

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When a judge makes love to a woman, it's called HONORABLE DISCHARGE.
and
When a legislator does it, it's called CONGRESSIONAL INSERTION.
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Sa party nilapitan ng isang gwapong lalaki ang isang babae.

Man: Miss, sasayaw ka ba?

Tuwang-tuwa ang babae na tumayo.

Miss: Yes!

Man: Buti naman, paupo ha!
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Sweethearts watching the sky....

Girl: Hon, ano ang horoscope mo?

Boy: Anong horoscope?

Girl: parang kapalaran ba, gaya sa akin, cancer.

Boy: Ah, sa akin almoranas.