Apo: Look at those boats, Lolo!
Lolo: Amazing , di ba, Iho? They are called yacths.
Apo: Yacths? How do you spell it, Lolo?
Lolo: You're right, Iho. They are boats.
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Modern thinkers now believe that Adam and Eve were Filipinos.
Why?
Because thet had no house, no jobs, nothing decent to wear, no rice and yet still they multiplied!
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Tatay: Anak, bakla ka ba?
Anak: Opo.
(Sabay lubog sa mukha ng anak sa harina)
Tatay: Ano? Ngayon, lalaki ka na ba?
Anak: Geisha na po.
(Nagalit ang tatay sabay nilubog ang mukha sa baldeng puno ng tubig.)
Tatay: Ngayon, ano ka na? Sagot!
Anak: Dyesabel na po!
(Nagalit lalo ang tatay, kaya pinaso nya ito ng plantsa sa hanggang ito'y mangitim)
Tatay: *$&@)(Q@ ka! Ano ka na ngayon ?
Anak: Ako na po si Beyonce.....
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According to pulse Asia, Pinoys are generally satisfied with GMA's programs.
When asked what program they enjoyed most, the respondents said: Dyesabel.
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Dating Daan- Ely Soriano...
Tamang Daan- Inglesia ni Kristo...
Dalawang Daan- Chairman Abalos...
Di ko Matandaan- Romy Neri.
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In the US, they have Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, Stevie wonder, Condoleeza Rice.
Sa Pinas, we have no bills, no cash, no hope, no wonder... and No rice!
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Boyfriend: Last night on our anniversary, my girlfriend demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So I took her to a gas station!
Nagalit sya. Mali ba yung ginagawa ko? O dapat sa bigasan ko na lang sya dinala?
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Si "Gas" at "Pamasahe" nag-uusap...
Pamasahe: Dahil sa yo... natuto akong magmahal.
Napapanahong loveteam....
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Mga Kongresista pina-iimbistigahan ang PAGASA.
Gusto raw ng mga politiko na makihati sa .... LAGAY ng panahon.
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Angel: GMA, inutusan ako ilord para ipaalam sayo na hanggang bukas na lang ang buhay mo.
GMA: Eto ang pera, sabihin mo kay lord, hindi tayo nagkita ha, ok?
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Dad: Gabi na! bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi?
Anak: Not now, I'm tired... daming projects, daming event sa school, nag-meeting pa kami with the dean....
Dad: Magtigil ka! Kinder ka pa lang!
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Husband: Do you have any idea what would happen to you if I die?
Wife: I might also die.
Husband (blushes): Why?
Wife: Sometimes, too much hapiness can cause death.
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One orgasm releases 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 sperm cells yet only 1 meet up with the ovum.
Yan, yan and SYSTEMS LOST!
Yan ang dapat ginamit ni Judai na example
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